yak (yàghck) a large long-haired ox of Tibet; a joke or gag; persistent talk; to vomit; a pseudo-groovy name for a web site chosen to ensure favourable placing in web directories

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The Government: Broken Promises, Unanswered Emails 14 July 1992 Edition
Previous Edition

Nine months ago I made it quite clear that if the New Zealand government didn't wake itself up and start initiating a Knowledge Based Economy or KBE that I would have no option but to "leave New Zealand" and "move to America". But it would appear that my words fell upon deaf ears as there is still no sign of a KBE in New Zealand.

I'm getting bloody sick of it. Even that Middle Eastern country UAE (note: find out what UAE stands for) has a thriving KBE. Perhaps some of those Arab types should come over here and show our government how it's done?

But as the likelihood of that happening is even less than that of me "moving to America", I have come up with a new plan.

Please excuse the gratuitous references to myself, and the gratuitous use of the word gratuitous.

Readers Whinge
A lesson for us all - Bruce

Have Your Whinge

Now as we know, the New Zealand government is pretty clueless, and has decided that there should be a "Minister for Racing" but not a "Minister for the development, implementation and support of a Knowledge Based Economy". It seems to me that a way of getting past all the bureaucratic bungling would be to stealthily change the "Minister for Racing" to the "Minister for Racing and the development, implementation and support of a Knowledge Based Economy."

So in my own time and at my own expense I wrote up a comprehensive nine step plan detailing how the Minister for Racing can start to implement savvy KBE principles into her portfolio, and how this will "generate wealth" and "create jobs" and ensure that I will be able to drive around in a Mercedes convertible with a foxy little redhead at my side in New Zealand, not "overseas".

Three hours, twelve minutes and eight seconds ago I emailed my plan to the Honourable Annette King, Minister for Racing. So far I have not received a response. Not even an acknowledgement of my email. I phoned her office and demanded to speak to her and was told by a gentleman who answered the phone that Ms King was "in the debating chamber" and that "all emails are answered in two or three days" and that I should expect to receive a reply "shortly". It is also interesting to note that Ms King has made herself conspicuous by her absence of a statement on the 0867 debacle.

Well, as far as I'm concerned that's just another indication from the so-called "government" of their apathy towards transforming New Zealand from a rural backwater into a savvy 21st century global economy of the new millennium.

Making Money on the Internet: Part 296a

Today -- the last few bottom of the barrel scrapings of ways to get a couple of more people looking at your web site.

Once you have decided "what kind of audience" you want looking at your web site, and "why" you want them, you can move onto techniques in getting your site more "well known".

Now, when you look at people walking down the street you see people wearing "t" shirts with the logos of such companies as "Coke" and "Nike". Yes, people are paying money to wear advertising! So all you need to do is get some "t" shirts made up with your URL on them and soon enough people will be flocking to you to buy your advertising product!

Blatant Gratuitous Self-Promoting Plug ;)
I have a number of stylish [email protected] t-shirts for sale. $50, reduced from $50,000. All proceeds go towards the [email protected] Venture Capital Find.

The name of your company is important. I picked "Yak" because of the association of that word and online savvy. It's not coincidence that the letters y, a and k can be found one some of the most successful web sites out there. So strong is the "Yak" brand, that you will often hear people talking of "yakking".

In an attempt to get the "Yak" name more widely known, I have changed my name by deed pole to Keith Yak Flinton. Not only did I get a curiously raised eyebrow from the lady at the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages, but the fellow at the bank who amended my account also said "that's an interesting name". Two more potential Yak readers - and I bet they'll be telling their friends.

Sending press releases to news media is good, but if the media were really doing their job, they would know about what was going on, and would be contacting me first. So instead of sending out press releases, I instead send out faxes and emails that say thing like "I am savvy and know stuff. Ask me to find out more." Of the 3950 releases I've sent out, I've only had five responses, but that's five more people who know about my web site.

Don't forget to add your pages to search engines. But be sure that you add words in your meta tags that are guaranteed to generate hits, for example "savvy" and "knowledge based economy". If you do a search on "Google" for "Internet Industry News" you'll find that Yak rates in the top 30 - and that's without even trying.

Discussion forums add value to any web site, unless you find your forums populated by idiots to seem to find pleasure in posting messages saying "Why do you keep saying you are going to update your site, but you never do?". My advice is to not dignify their question with a response, then ban everyone from using the forums.

Continued tomorrow...

Hey Ladies...

Latest statistics show that women have overtaken men in American in hours of online use - a trend that's repeating itself on a worldwide scale.

As a gesture of welcome to "the fairer sex" online, coming soon will be "[email protected] 4 Her". This will present the latest New KBE Economy Net "News" and Commentary of the same high standard that you've come to expect from [email protected], but with an attractive pastel pink background colour, and a cyber-knitting section.

So all you "women" out there who might not want to look at [email protected] because of its "masculinity" will have your very own version soon!

As always, your feedback is welcomed.

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The Day's Top "News"
4 = open in new window
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