Sometimes Known As "[email protected] Weekly"
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Pushing my own agenda and spreading misinformation since 1964

 
Disclaimer:
Sometimes people forget that this column is just me writing about whatever is up my arse at a particular moment. While I do my best to make sure that what I write here is somehow based in the truth -- I can't guarantee that anything that I've written here is true, in fact chances are I've just made it all up. If you think I'm talking crap about you then send me a Right Of Reply and I will make sure that your comments are published. But by then the damage will have been done and it'll look like you're just covering your arse, so it's not like that's going to do anything.

For The Week Ending August 27 1987

Another Prediction Comes True

Those alert readers amongst you may remember that three months ago in a previous edition of [email protected] Weekly I predicted that small, handheld, portable telephones would be developed and used by members of the public.

Well now it appears that my prediction has come true.

I have been made aware of these portable telephones otherwise known as "cell phones" or "mobile phones" have been picked up and marketed by two companies, one being "Vodafone", and the other Telecom.

Both these companies sell a range of "cell phones" which enable members of the public to make a phone call while doing things such as walking or driving an automobile.

While I have my technological predictions hat on, I feel fairly confident in saying that the "personal computer", which for a very long time has been only available from specialist dealers, will soon be able to be purchased from common retail outlets such was Farmers, Dick Smith, Noel Leeming and KFC. Watch this space!


I Don't Get Enough Sleep

I am a very busy man and on average I get around four hours sleep a night. As I live on a diet of instant noodles and energy drinks (I'm not going to name names because [email protected] has a strict policy of no free advertising, but I am willing to name names if the certain manufacturer of an energy drink that is named after a letter of the alphabet would care to provide me with some free samples), I have no trouble with this much sleep.

However, sometimes when a big news story hits, I am required to stay up all night and day staring at my screen making sure that none of my news gathering scripts stop working because that would impede the natural course of justice.

On nights like this I need to be able to stay awake longer, but I am unable to do so without ending up falling asleep and waking up with instant noodles in my hair.

And here's where you get to play a part. I'm inviting all [email protected] readers to contribute their ways of staying up really late and surviving on little or no sleep. Send me your ideas and the best idea just might win a prize (Note: See the disclaimer for further details)


Adverse To Free Publicity?

I see that Alfa Romeo have recently launched in New Zealand their new 146. I was also interested to note that I was not offered one to review for [email protected]

I would have thought that Alfa Romeo would have been net savvy enough to realise that [email protected] readers are highly educated people, with a lot of disposible income who can afford to buy Alfa Romeos.

My repeated phone calls requesting a vehicle to review were repeatedly met with refusals. Apparently I have to be a "motoring journalist from an accredited motoring publication." and that "personal web pages don't count."

I visited Alfa Romeo's web site to see just how savvy they were. Imagine my surprise (not) when I discovered over 30 errors in just the first 5 minutes I was there!

I emailed the site's web master advising him of [email protected]'s FREE 15 minute website evaluation, but so far have not received a reply (in English).

 

 

This Is "Serious"
  • No New Forums Until You Can All Behave
    There will be no new [email protected] forums until you can all behave and learn that they are there for "serious" discussion only... and are not to be used for such trivial matters as "bashing" me.

I'm Slack
I spend most of the time in front of my computer, but I don't actually do anything... so do my job for me and tell me some "cool" web sites.

Just use the contact form to send me your suggestions.

Anti Telescum Script?
As I am an "incredibly" busy man and I have not had enough time to update this site in the last 12 years, I am always on the lookout for innovative time saving ideas.

If someone could send me a script that composes a daily anti-Telecom rant, I would be very appreciative. In return I would make sure that your web site won the [email protected] site of the year award.

Worth a try?

  What the Hell's Going On Here?
As we all know, "e-mail" is a device that is used primarily by unscrupulous individuals to send "unsoliciated commercial e-mail" or spam to innocent net surfers.

This fact is well known, so why is it that on almost every web page I see, there is almost inevitably a request to "e-mail" someone.

Personal webpages have it, company web pages have it, when will these "people" learn? By requesting people to e-mail then, they are only encouraging the spammers out there to "do their thing."

Will the government do anything about it? It's unlikely. It seems that all the government seems to care about is pornography. The real threat - the threat of spamming - has gone ignored.

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