Robyn's Secret Passage
Unlike practically everyone else in the entire universe, I had not, until recently, ever seen any of the Star Wars trilogy.
I was 2 years old when Star Wars was released and apparently I wasn't really into movies at that age. In 1980, the year the Empire Strikes Back was released, I saw "Can't Stop the Music", starring the Village People.
I have no memory of those two films existing at the time, but I do remember Return of the Jedi. My brother saw it, and I remember him telling me about the unmasking of Darth Vader. We were on holiday in Paraparaumu in the summer of 1983-1984. There was some promotion that was giving away masks of various Star Wars characters. My brother and I put Darth Vader masks on the windows of the tent (I think I saw it as a means of scaring away mean people), but all I remember happening is some kids stopped and looked at it and thought it was Darth Vader's tent or something. I also remember going to a department store in Wellington that had a thing that you could listen to and hear Darth Vader's breathing. Wooooo.
I never saw any of the Star Wars films, but I knew what they were all about. I remember when I was about 5 years old there being a big debate amongst my friends at school about how long Princess Leia's hair was when it was loose. Someone said it went down to her feet, but someone else reckoned it was only down to her shoulders.
On the great '80s tv show "That's Incredible" there was a kid who had written a book of questions about Star Wars that was so detailed that practically no one could answer it all. Which means that I'd probably get one question right.
My cousins, who I imagine have probably seen the trilogy about a million times, had a good selection of Star Wars figurines and various craft. I was intrigued by what appeared to be Chewbacca's flares. I used to make Leia kiss Han and turned Vader into a high fashion model.
I went through life being a Star Wars virgin. When I was studying film production at tech I there were a couple of guys in my class who were hard-core Star Wars fans. They were pretty shocked when I revealed that I'd never seen the trilogy. I didn't get invited to the Star Wars video evening they had.
Then the special editions got released and I thought, oh why the hell not. Playing just down the road from me in digital stereo was the Star Wars trilogy, so I saw it.
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
I think I'm on my way to becoming a fully-fledged Star Wars bitch. I've been thinking of seeing the original version on video. I was in Real Groovy Records and almost dairy-whipped myself when I saw a giant cardboard cutout out of Darth Vader and an armed Storm Trooper. I walked between the new releases and hip-hop sections several times just to check them out. I was tempted.
But I can't see myself doing something really dorky like buying a Star Wars t-shirt, or over-analysing the film like a character in a Kevin Smith movie. I saw the Star Wars trilogy and I enjoyed it. Now all I need is my own personal storm trooper.