Robyn's Secret Passage

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Robyn Gallagher

List Archive 2000

Date: 04 January 2000
Subject: Decade

To celebrate a new decade and all the cliches that are bound to come with one (once people start paying attention to it) there are some new pages 'n' stuff.

Bad Word Alert
Erase these words from your vocabulary.

A Millennium Girl's Guide to Life in the Nineties
Get with it ma'am, it's the '90s.

I was so disappointed when nothing bad happened on Saturday.


Date: 17 January 2000
Subject: A question

If the world was going to end tomorrow and you only had one day to live and if you could only make one phone call, who would you call?

The answer, my friend, can be found here:


Date: 05 February 2000
Subject: Wuv

It's Valentine's day soon, so I thought I'd examine the paradigmatic implications of this very pink and fluffy day.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know what a paradigmatic implication is. I also do not use the word "issue" as a synonym for "problem" as in "there are some serious branding issues we need to discuss", and I don't use the word "action" as a verb, as in "Please action this branding issues request form." Because that's what wanky corporate whores do.

Urgh... I just had a sudden urge to click on a banner!

Ok, now you should have a look at the above URL.


Date: 10 February 2000
Subject: Pubic enemy

I've updated Pubic Service Announcement.

Y'know, when I first did the PSA page back in '96, I did a search on Alta Vista like +pubic -hair -bone -lice and it would give me a good selection of sites. Then in when I did updates in '97, '98 and '99 I had to add stuff like -lesbian -sluts -asian -whores to exclude all the porn sites that were coming up. When I did the search again tonight, all I needed to exlude was hair, bone and lice and Alta Vista came up with a good selection with only a couple of porn sites. So good on you, Alta Vista.

Also, I am going to do a mini rant on people who say "I got told", as in "I got told that the bus was late" because it's bad. You can get herpes, a bus, and a fright, but you can not get told. Told is not a thing.

DISCLAIMER: I have not actually checked this out and I could be completely wrong. But it sounds really bad, in a sort of English-as-a-second language way.

Ok, that's enough.


Date: 28 February 2000
Subject: Agua


New stuff =

Which is really just whatever came into my head on the subject.


Ok, those of you who know Auckland's geography will know that there is a chunk o' headland called Bastion Point. Well, did you know that there used to be a big rock at the end of it called Bastion Rock. It was connected to land at low tide, but at high tide boats could sail through it. Then in the early 1900s someone decided that it shouldn't be there so they chopped it down.

A lot of bits of rock were chopped down in Auckland, including volcanoes.

There were also many beaches lost when sea was filled in and reclaimed, which is a shame really, but back then people had different values.

Har har me hearties.


Date: 15 March 2000
Subject: Shortland Street

For the past seven years or so I have heard people talk a lot about Shortland Street. Apparently it's quite popular, but no one will actually admit to liking it.

Well I'm a big fan. I dig Shortland Street. A lot's gone on over the years, and I've made a fan page to show my appreciation for "The Street".

Also, according to Dean, linking to my web site is passé, so please refrain from doing so unless you wish to appear unoriginal, cliched and boring. Cheers.


Date: 27 March 2000
Subject: Items


Item 1
No one has told the mothers with three-wheel prams that it is a fun run.

Item 2
An essay on passe.

Free your mind and your arse will follow.


P.S. If ListBot has stuck any advertising at the bottom o' this message, feel free to ignore it because reading it is what The Man wants you to do.

Date: 06 May 2000
Subject: Arse

Kia ora

Hobnobbing with Auckland's semi-famous! Or not.

Y'know, the pages on the 'Passage that get the most hits seem to be ones that have remotely sexual names. The ones that people click thinking that maybe if they click on that link they'll find some porn.

So with that in mind, I should point out that nicearse.html does not contain any arse, nice or not.


Date: 20 May 2000
Subject: Tell your troubles to the big red door

NeW sTuFf

What I did on my Easter holidays. Kind of boring, actually, but it's there if you want it.

I was interviewed for an article in Metro magazine, but didn't actually make it into the article. It's an interesting story.

I've got a bad-arse cold at the moment and am all hyped up on pseudoephedrine (or at least I like to think that I am) and as a result am completely incapable of doing anything even remotely creative, but I have this nice happy feeling.

So in conclusion I guess I'm glad that I'm not the sort of person who is only ever creative or interesting when they are under the influence of drugs of some sort. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite for moi.



Date: 04 June 2000
Subject: Ahhhh

I pride myself on the fact that I can come up with crap like this without the need for chemical stimulation. I blame my mother.

Plus there's also some other stuff I put up recently but I can't remember what it is. Just have a look around. I'm sure you'll find it.



Date: 24 June 2000
Subject: Mouth Filling


I sort of had writers block, but I am better now, thanks.
I went to The Food Show. It was lots of fun. It's still got one day left to run, so if you're into that sort of thing, you should go.

On Friday I went to yet another leaving dinner for some guys at work. One of the bottles o' wine on the table had a typically wanky description in which the wine was described as being "mouth-filling".

Sticking a can of Dairy Whip in your mouth and pressing the nozzle is also "mouth-filling" but you don't see them writing that on the cans.


Date: 27 June 2000
Subject: Rad Bonus


Special bonus thing:
A couple of more sites added to the Parallel Universes.

My hands are too cold to do any more typing.


Date: 06 July 2000
Subject: Word to your mother.


Yeah, it looks like the McKay's have updated their web site recently. I really wish they'd tell me so I didn't have to find it out through the grapevine.

Sharee has some news:

And they've now got a guestbook (another damn guestbook):

Yeah, thanks.


Date: 12 July 2000
Subject: Bon anniversaire


This is what I did on Sunday:

(Oh, the URL looks so promising, like maybe I got arrested and thrown in jail!)

It is a very special page because it marks the first use of JavaScript in my web site, which I only used because I couldn't think of any other way to do what I wanted to do.

Also, it's approximately the fourth anniversary of when my web page first went up back in July 1996. On that day a guy I knew from the Hamilton BBS scene (rockin') emailed me to say that I was arrogant and the site was offensive, all because I said that big scrolling java things were bad and he had one on his page.

Four years on I still think big scrolling java things are bad, and his web page is now done in plain HTML. Cheers for that, Greg McWank.

I will be celebrating with mallowpuffs and salt and vinegar chips.


Date: 08 August 2000
Subject: A full refund

Yeah gidday

I went to the Erotica expo. I only went because I had free tickets, y'know. There wasn't any actual erotica, and if I'd paid to get in I would have asked for my money back. That was about it.


Date: 13 August 2000
Subject: Stack o' pancakes

I'm being more attentive towards my web site lately.

Possibly a whinging session, but it think its roots lie in the fact that I'm in the middle of reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" which, despite the fact that a now-closed branch of Whitcoulls had it categorised under auto repairs, is actually about quality more than zen or motorcycle maintenance. That book is as old as me.

I'm also collecting amusing stuff that gets put in my mailbox. I've lived in a few suburbs in this fair city, but only in Mount Eden do I get the really crazy stuff.

Also, I went through my web site and removed all unneccessary uses of the f-word. Because if you use it all the time, it loses its meaning and effectiveness.


Date: 25 August 2000
Subject: What it is. Word.


Yeah, so I got told that there was something up new up on the site:

Guestbook doesn't work at the moment, but then, you probably knew that anyway. A replacement type thing is coming. I don't know when.

That is all for today.


Date: 08 September 2000
Subject: It is the year 2000

Hey ho

I'm currently suffering (oh, the suffering!) from a cold. Snotty and grotty is what springs to mind.

But the good news is it's time for Yak2000!

In other news, I'm going on holiday on Friday. I'm visiting the diamante-studded splendour that is Mike and then back on up further north to revisit the areas of my well-spent youth. Someone has already caught wind of this extended excursion, and was thoughtful enough to send me their best wishes by way of a carefully-penned email:

"Now's your chance, to learn the most powerful, least expensive method of online advertising... DIRECT EMAIL !!!"

God, you all feel so ambivalent about me, don't you!

(In case you're not hip or with-it, that was based on a similar declaration made on A Waste of Bandwidth. I've always wondered about such things. Are there really people out there who are like "Right, Robyn will be away from Friday onwards" and note it down in their diary? I never remember stuff like that about other people.)

Ok, that's enough from me. Back to the over-the-counter medication.


Date: 24 September 2000
Subject: Shrink that arse

It's been a while since I last updated, but good things come to people who wait.

I went to Wellington, I had fun. I wasn't even sure if I was going to write about this, but throughout the weekend Mike kept saying "you're not allowed to write about this" whenever he did things that would make his mother cry, so in the end I felt obligated.

For those of you who have been perving at those delovely female weightlifters, here's a story of Olympic romance from Doreen McKay.

I've been angsting over my links page. It happens every year. I'll get over it, but until then, you must put up with my ramblings. I'll endeavour to get something up by the time summer comes along.

Cheers, love.


Date: 18 October 2000
Subject: Revolting consulting.


I've quit my job. I do not, as yet, have a new job to go to when I leave in just under a month. One guy at work didn't seem to be able to understand this. When he asked me what I was going to do when I left, and I replied "I don't know," he said "Oh, so you're going to be doing a bit of consulting." Unless "consulting" is street slang for being unemployed, then no, I will not be consulting. I'm excited.

Here is some new content. It is about brassieres. Not brasseries:

And I've just realised that I have not shared the delights of my new forum thing. It replaced my guestbook, which sort of broke. All sorts of choice stuff gets discussed. Or at least, it will. Soon.



Date: 14 November 2000
Subject: Unemployed

Kia ora

I thought I sent this message last night, but I didn't.

I'm unemployed at the moment, so I have all this free time and stuff.
Here's what I did on Monday:

I'm trying to be a slack arse, but it's so hard.


Date: 06 December 2000
Subject: Humidity


It was really humid and no one spoke English. Except for when it was air conditioned coolness and when people spoke English.

My computer is refusing the acknowledge the existance of my digital camera. I'm hoping it will get over this minor problem, otherwise it'll ruin Christmas for everyone.

And just a reminder that it's my birthday on December 22. I will be 26 years old. Send all gifts, cards, etc to P O Box 68-467, Newton.



Date: 12 December 2000
Subject: Picking up the pace


Ok. I've put up a lot of tasty-fresh content lately, so here's a handy summary.

About when people put up too much personal information on their sites.

Part II of the exciting series of stuff I do as unemployed. Slightly fictional this time due to digital camera problem.

A shocking expose about those indoor stress-relieving waterfalls.

And just a reminder that my birthday is 10 days away. But you knew that. And you also knew that you'll be sending your cards and gifts to P O Box 68-467, Newton, Auckland in time for December 22. I didn't really need to remind you.



Date: 16 December 2000
Subject: Baby, let me take you higher


More new stuff.

A bit of Saturday night introspection about being labled a web designer when I'm not.

My guestbooks keep breaking. This one will probably break too, knowing my luck.

3. 22.12.00!


Date: 21 December 2000
Subject: Swiss Army Wife

Ho ho ho

Ok, Roses Chocolates: why?

Also, tomorrow is a very important day.

Right, that's all.