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Robyn Gallagher

#NZ Ops Test

Think you're worthy of being an op on #NZ, but don't know why still don't have a @? Take this simple test to find out your #NZ op-worthiness!

1. A person with a South African IP joins the channel and says "ha ha we kicked u stupid kiwis at the rugby!!!!!!" Do you:

  1. Say "Yes, South Africa are the best rugby team in the entire world. We suck."
  2. Kick him for spelling "you" as "u".
  3. Vaguely wonder what he's talking about.
  4. Do nothing as he has already been kicked and banned by Adder's rugby script.

2. A person with the nick ev|L1 joins the channel and asked "ne1 here from hastings?" Do you:

  1. Kick him with the reason "hastings sux"
  2. Say you are from Hastings, Canada.
  3. Inform him that to the best of your knowledge there is no one here from Hastings.
  4. Kick him with the reason "No location checks"

3. A person from Argentina joins the channel and requests information on Maori culture for a school project. Do you:

  1. Immediately kick with the reason "Te fuck off"
  2. Make up some crap like "whare paku" means "I love you" then get bored and kick him.
  3. Paste a few URLs of useful web pages with information about Maori culture.
  4. Tell him that as this is #NZ there is no culture of any kind.

4. One evening a channel semi-regular starts to paste the lyrics to "Spark" by Tori Amos to the channel. It looks like she's going to paste the entire song. Do you:

  1. Try and out-paste her by pasting the lyrics to "All In the Family" by Korn.
  2. Politely request that she stop pasting it as not everyone appreciates it.
  3. Kick her with the reason, "fucking stop it"
  4. Start up a channel discussion about the true meaning of the lyrics and just how damn cool Tori is.

5. A person joins the channel and says "Come and join my brand new channel #NZ-Aucklanders! Free ops to the first 5 ppl who join!!!!!" Do you:

  1. Immediately op the person as a sign of inter-channel op respect.
  2. Join #NZ-Aucklanders and participate in the fun and conversation there.
  3. Kick the person with the reason "No advertising".
  4. Join #NZ-Aucklanders, discover that as you're the sixth person to join you don't get ops, go back to #NZ and kick ban the person with the reason "dick".

6. The host of a popular late night tv show joins the channel and says "hi how's it going". Do you:

  1. Netsex him
  2. Kick him with the reason "you fat ass"
  3. As you spend all your spare time in front of your computer, you have no idea who he is and kick him because he seems lame.
  4. Immediately op him and spend the next 10 minutes telling him how cool he is.

7. A person with the nick Lemon joins the channel and doesn't say much. However, he privately messages you and says that he is a shy guy and is looking for a girlfriend. Do you:

  1. Tell him you are a big hairy goth guy.
  2. Paste his conversation to the channel, laugh at him then kick him using the word "spade" in the kick reason.
  3. Arrange to see a movie with him, despite the fact that you really are a big hairy goth guy.
  4. Get into a conversation about how true love is so hard to find, that at least once includes "/me hugz lemon"

8. It's a Saturday night. You have heard there's a #NZ-Auckland party, but you don't have any details. Do you:

  1. Stay at home and mope in front of your computer kicking random people in an attept to make yourself feel better..
  2. Join #NZ-Auckland and find out the details of the party and go.
  3. Type "/me wibbles".
  4. Stay at home and get drunk in front of your computer.

9. A person with the nick l33t1 joins the channel and types "fuk u #nz u all suk" 37 times. Do you:

  1. Get really depressed because all this time you thought you were really cool.
  2. Immediate kick ban.
  3. Ban, but no kick, and toy with him, like a cat with its prey.
  4. Go off and look for some porn, and eventually he leaves the channel because no one's paying any attention to him.

10. You end up at the #NZ-Auckland party. There is a computer set up in the lounge. Do you:

  1. Quickly say hi to all the #NZ folks back home.
  2. Ignore the computer and get really pissed and spade some drunk teenagers.
  3. Spend the entire party on the computer, and leave early so you can go home and continue IRCing.
  4. Do a bit of chatting, but spill your beer on the keyboard and quickly leave before anyone finds out.

11. A person with the nick Jimi98 and a Malaysian IP address joins the channel and asks "anyone here from malaysia?". Do you:

  1. Immediate kick with the kick reason "goa way" because you were in a hurry to beat all the other ops and you couldn't think of something witty to type.
  2. Politely explain that as this is a channel for New Zealanders, it is unlikely that there would be people from Malaysia.
  3. Explain that as this is a channel for Nude Zebras, it is unlikely that there would be people from Malaysia.
  4. Set a blanket ban for all *.my IPs.

12. It's a Wednesday evening. There's not much channel action. You say one word to attempt to stimulate conversation. Do you say:

  1. *hugz*
  2. arse
  3. fuck
  4. breasts

13. A channel semi-regular joins and asks if there are any IHUG sysadmins around as they are having trouble getting newsgroups. Do you:

  1. Point them in the direction of one of the three sysadmins who are lurking in the channel.
  2. Kick with the reason "what does this look like fucking ihug helpdesk or something?"
  3. Suggest they visit IHUG's MOTD.
  4. Pretend to be an IHUG sysadmin and say "yeah, you'll need to change your news server to news.pooze.hax0r.hugz.ihug.co.nz"

14. You want to impress a cute goth called M|dnyt by opping them. Do you:

  1. Op them, and de-op anyone who questions you, kicking the persistant ones.
  2. Wait until they have proved their worth and earned the respect of other ops.
  3. Op them, if anyone complains say your cat walked over the keyboard.
  4. Decide to wait until you've slept together.

15. What is the primary role of a #NZ op?

  1. Informing the channel of what music you are currently listening to.
  2. Keeping the channel in order.
  3. Letting people know what kind of pizza you had for dinner.
  4. Discussing static route tables on Cisco routers.