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© 2003
Robyn Gallagher

IRC Madness

IRC. Internet Relay Chat. Oh joy. Where else can you be hit on sleezy guys all in the comfort of your own home?

Here, for your viewing pleasure, are selected highlights from the last two years or so of IRC.

All of these conversations were initiated by the other person. I merely played along for my own amusement. 99% male.

Keep it in yo' pants boys, and off the keyboard.

<Kill_Iraq> you from azerbyjan?
<Rosia> No
<Kill_Iraq> ok

<PoolShark> rosia
<PoolShark> may i have a moment, please?
<Rosia> Yes
<Rosia> Was that moment long enough?

<||Mulder> well why did u kick me ?
<||Mulder> i can change my config and enter with an FBI authorization !!!

<hyung> hi!
<Rosia> r u well hyung?
<hyung> yes
<hyung> why?
<hyung> do I know you?
<hyung> hello~~~~~

<KaZama> hi
<Rosia> wHAT
<KaZama> nothin'
<KaZama> say soething
<Rosia> "soething"
<KaZama> ererererer..

<CollegeVi> ello
<CollegeVi> care 4 chat?
<Rosia> No
<CollegeVi> fI have two words for you
<CollegeVi> fuck you
<CollegeVi> enough?

<anne> helo
<Rosia> Hello.
<anne> a s lpls
<Rosia> Excuse me?
<anne> what
<Rosia> Is "a s lpls" supposed to mean anything?
<anne> ya

<martian> a/s/l?
<martian> whore

<tostos> hii
<Rosia> heeelllooo!!!!!! iii aaaammmm yyooouurrrr wwwiiifffffeee!!!!!!!
<tostos> lol
<Rosia> iii ammm nnnootttt aaa tthhhaaiii llladdddyyy!!!!
<tostos> a/l
<Rosia> iii wiiilll mmaakkkkkkkkkeeee a goooooddddd wwwiiffee!!!!!!
* tostos pls write normal

<DYLAN-> if you've got the feeling , tell me if u wanna, ill make it all right
<Rosia> What the fuck are you talking about?
<DYLAN-> jump up to the ceiling .......
<DYLAN-> 1 if u are gonna , 2 if u wanna.........
<DYLAN-> na na na na naaaaaaa

<lemonon> hey! we are the same age!!!!
<Rosia> k00L!!!!!!!!!!

<Sage`> Smoke pot and sleep with your boyfriend....now that sounds like WICKEDLY good fun....lol
<Rosia> Fuck off you sad ass. Just leave me alone.
<Sage`> dont need cheering up then huh....:)))
<Rosia> I said leave me alone.
<Sage`> I am I am!!!....lol
<Rosia> It's not fucking funny

<nardo34> hi
<Rosia> What
<nardo34> how are you
<Rosia> Who are you?
<Rosia> Do I know you?
<nardo34> no just saying hi
<nardo34> do you want to chat?
<nardo34> ?
<nardo34> thats not nice
<nardo34> well
<nardo34> bitch
<Rosia> Your mistake was to assume I was a female

<^broken^> Hi
<^broken^> Do I know you?
<Rosia> Hi Jimmy! It's Pansy Niuliang!!!!
<^broken^> My name isn't Jimmy sorry
<Rosia> :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
<^broken^> Sorry
* Rosia pouts
<Rosia> I thought you were Shaun's friend!!!
<^broken^> nope
<^broken^> sorry

<RoBiN> listen rosia, io want to talk to you, dont ignore me....
<RoBiN> why is robin such a bad name....(no i am not from brazil or som other grotty place)
<RoBiN> you olad nz cow, you gonna loose the rugby anyway, all you nz are big time losers!!!!
<Rosia> 1. My name is Robyn
<Rosia> 2. I do not follow rugby
<Rosia> 3. You have some issues you need to work through

<DavidLi> hi
<Rosia> Do I know you>
<DavidLi> do we have to?
<DavidLi> hehe
<Rosia> Get lost
<DavidLi> I'm not lost but a friendly person with better attitude
<DavidLi> u seem........gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Rosia> I'm a total fucking bitch.

<meatly> hi how r u??
<Rosia> I'm sorry, I'm a vegan.

<ONcE> your robyn eh?.. i was reading your web page the other night.. it's really good.. i was talking to annette and she said something about it
<ONcE> i thought that article you wrote on guys on the internet was really good too
<Rosia> Yes indeed
<ONcE> "yes indeed" .. hmm. sorry i bothered you

<GodLovesU> but yes anyway we will be incoruptable with new bodies, Praise God
<Rosia> Praise God!

<Nozem> he
<Rosia> It
<Nozem> it ?
<Rosia> You said "he", I said "It". I can randomly select a pronoun too, y'know.
<Nozem> well, i meant goodmorning (evening at your end)
<Rosia> Since when does "he" equate to "good morning" or "good evening"?

<NetFriend> Hello! :-)
<Rosia> Do you smoke pot?

<warr> "Hi there see are from nz too.m40 here if you are a lady and arent busy give me a call
<Rosia> You illiterate dick boy. Learn to spell first, and then try the sleazing.

<warr> "Hi there from hamilton.. if u arent busy give me a call
<Rosia> Why?
<warr> for fun..
<warr> u dont have to..
<Rosia> That's so right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<warr> yes.. always freedom of speace here
<Rosia> Freedom of peace?
<warr> speech
<Rosia> huh?
<Rosia> YOu want me 2 make a speack???
<warr> no :)... just chat if u want to ...
<warr> what do u do in TeAwamutu ?
<Rosia> i work
<warr> ok. .what as ?
<Rosia> kfc
<warr> I work for a company that installs and fixes business pfone systemsok.. been there for long..
<Rosia> only 2 months
<warr> ok.. is there much scope for advancement
<Rosia> yeah i mean when i started all i did was make up coleslaw pots but now i am doing batter-making and fries!!!
<warr> mm.. what about up the management structure.. are u interested
<Rosia> um probaly
<warr> are u interested tho !!
<Rosia> i might go kiwigruit picking at my uncles farm in bop
<warr> arr that sounds more interesting! :0
<Rosia> lol
<warr> so have u been a school in Taw
<Rosia> yes i wen 2 tauwhare school when i was 5-11
<warr> and more recently ?
<Rosia> ha ha ta
<warr> ? what do u mean ?
<Rosia> ta = te awamutu
<warr> ok.. .so yes u have been to school in ta

<warr_> "Hi there see u r from NZ.. me too.m40 here if you are a lady and arent busy give me a call
<Rosia> You are so pathetic. I am laughing at you.
<warr_> oh am pleased I have made you so happy

<fun> hello
<Rosia> How can I help you?
<fun> I have chatted to you some time ago
<fun> quite some time ago
<fun> Your nick is so familiar to me
<Rosia> I think you have me confused with someone else.
<fun> possibly
<fun> Do you live on the shore
<Rosia> No, you have me mistaken for someone else. We have never chatted before.
<fun> sorry
<fun> are you busy then
<Rosia> No. I am not busy.
<fun> care to chat then?
<Rosia> No way man. I'm not a homo.
<fun> neither am I I thought you were f
<Rosia> Well you thought wrong
<fun> sorry

<tinz> hello rosia
<tinz> how are you?
<Rosia> Tiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Rosia> BIG HUGZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Rosia> Looooooooooooooooooooooong time no seeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
<Rosia> How are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<tinz> pretty swelll
<tinz> when did we talk last?
<Rosia> I miised you at Paul's party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Rosia> Sowwy!!!!!
<Rosia> But I had to go to my sister's for dinner that night!!!!!
<tinz> um i think you have the wrong guy...
<Rosia> Huh????????????????????
<tinz> i dont know a paul
<Rosia> You're not Tim Ipswich?
<tinz> nope
<Rosia> TINZ = Tim Ipswich New Zealand
<tinz> tinz= short for my last name
<Rosia> Oh. There is another person who has the nick TINZ and that person is a good friend of mine and I think that it is very rude of you to pretend to be that person
<tinz> i didnt try to pretend to be that person, you just assumed i was he...
<tinz> i have had the nick for 7 years
<Rosia> Well then why did you message me? You don't even know me!!!!
<tinz> you are correct, i do not, but i dont know anyone that i meet for the first time, i was just saying hello

<bornagain> how are u???
<bornagain> how are u???
<Rosia> You were never there when I needed you. And now you show up, more than 20 years later, acting like nothing ever happened.
<bornagain> what?????/
<bornagain> how can i help u??
<Rosia> I'd like to pay off my acccount.
<bornagain> what account??
<Rosia> There you go again. Pretending nothing ever happened. I'm amazed I stuck around as long as I did the first time around!
<bornagain> where are u???
<Rosia> In my office
<bornagain> which country???
<Rosia> I don't live in the country any more. I moved to the city 12 years ago, a fact which you would have known had you bothered to keep in touch!
<bornagain> do u know me????
<Rosia> There you go again!
<bornagain> are u ok???
<Rosia> Actually, I am very upset by your sudden re-apperance
<bornagain> how old are u???
<Rosia> Just as I suspected, you've even forgotten my birthday...
<Rosia> You've probably "forgotten" a lot of things.
<bornagain> sorry, but i dont know u
<Rosia> Yes. Just as I thought. Well I "dont know u" either. And I'm going to tell the kids that they don't have a dad. Because as far as I'm concerned, they don't!
<bornagain> i think u are confused with my nick
<bornagain> my real name its NINO
<Rosia> In '78 you were Saul, in '82 you were James, in '99 you're Nino. What's new?
<bornagain> im a portuguese guy, i born in Macau, i have 21 years old
<Rosia> 21 years in prison. I'm not surprised.
<bornagain> prison????
<bornagain> are u crazy???
<bornagain> im a dj in the disco
<Rosia> Burnin' down the big house...
<bornagain> i dont understand
<bornagain> how old are u??
<Rosia> You remember Dave? Well he asked me to marry him and guess what. I said YES!
<bornagain> dave????

<Quasi> no i mean i dont believe u about naked zebra
<Rosia> Well aren't you just a cynical little manlady
<Quasi> hehehe]
<Quasi> this is better
<Quasi> civilised conversation