"My beautiful wife Karen and I have a lot of great friends who we like to invite over for parties. But there's one friend who often invites us over to his place for his fantastic wine and cheese evenings. His name is Stephano, and here he is with some tips for a great wine and cheese evening." - Bob

My name is Stephano. I am Stephano. I embody the essence that is Stephano. You may ask yourself, "Who is Stephano?" I can answer that question. I am Stephano, and Stephano is I.

I know a lot about wine and cheese evenings. In fact, I am the world's leading authority of wine and cheese evenings. I am the Chancellor of Stephano's Institute of Wine and Cheese Evenings.

Why wine and cheese? If you have to ask such a question you will never fully understand. But I will do my best to explain.

Wine is from a fruit of the earth. From the brown soil comes the firm, round grape. It is plucked and the juice extracted then is left to naturally ferment and over time becomes wine. You may observe the photograph of me, that is, Stephano and a rather sensual glass of Rhine Reisling.

Cheese is from an animal of the earth. From a mother animal, the scared milk is extracted from her pink nipple. It is left to curdle, then separtated into curds and whey. The curd is then moudled into a block of cheese and left to mature.

Here, for your sheer visual pleasure, is a selection from my personal Gallerie de Fromage et de Vin. It is but a fraction of the whole gallerie.

Excuse me for a moment, I am becoming somewhat aroused at the site of these fine wines and such beautiful, beautiful cheeses.

So I now command you to go and buy some wines and cheese and invite some friends around and enjoy them very very much.

Here are some tips to remember:

  • Serve the plainest, lightest crackers as to not fight with the divine flavour of the cheese.
  • No matter what anyone says, Karen's smoked cheese dip is an abomination of nature.
  • Grapes make an ideal garnish and accompanyment to any good wine and cheese evening.
  • And no matter what anyone says, it was not at all a good idea for Bob to add speed to my 1974 Chateau Nendi.
  • Red napkins look rather fabulous.

That is all.

I am Stephano.


© 1997-2002 Robyn Gallagher
Robyn's Secret Passage