There are times in our lives when my gorgeous wife Karen and myself need a little bit of spiritual guidance.

Jack, a good friend of ours, introduced us to the holy words of Swami Bhupa, shown here with his two assistants Bhutatma and Drutkarma. We went on a week long retreat to the Swami's retreat known as "The Center of Enlightenment and the Tranquil Orchid".

Ah yes, life on the retreat was peaceful and tranquil. We would start the day by waking up running naked to the pond of reflections and go for a swim. Often Bhutatma would video tape the swimming and we would watch it later to stimulate our chakras.

The Swami would hold private sessions with the women folk of the commune, so I decided to hold a few private sessions myself. I'd often take young Chrissie, Amanda and Tina down to the woods and explore nature with them.

Every Saturday night, the holy time, we would sit down and enjoy a sumptuous vegetarian feast, then do some shots of sumptuous vegetarian tequila. After that we would sit around and pass the peace pipe (a favourite saying of the Swami was "Don't bogart the peace pipe, my friend"). Yes, the Swami was a great believer in herbally aided mediatation and relaxation, but Karen and myself introduced him to the benefits of chemically aided relaxation and stimulation.

We left the retreat feeling free, enlightened, spiritually cleansed and with only a slight hangover.

© 1997-2002 Robyn Gallagher
Robyn's Secret Passage